Part Deux

Over the weekend my husband and I had dinner with a minister and his wife.

During the course of dinner, as I was attempting to play to the audience conversationally, I casually referred to the Old and New Testaments as "Parts One and Two." You know, as if the Bible was a summer blockbuster movie series. I wasn't making a joke either. I honestly couldn't stop my secular mouth from saying it and not until a few moments later did I realize that there is in fact a well-worn name for parts one and two: that would be the Old and New Testaments.

I may have tried to cover up my overt idiocy by saying something like, "Oh, yeah, right, the New Testament." But "Part Two" still stuck in my mind as making more sense. I kept my trap shut thereafter. A giant "L" throbbed atop my forehead.

I can just imagine the dialogue later on as they were fastening their seat belts. "Dearest Heart," he would say with divine forgiveness, "did she actually refer to the New Testament as Part Two?"
"Think of it this way, Love," she would say with patience and grace, "It's not often that you get to have dinner with a heathen slash nitwit."

He would nod and then signal a left turn, followed by a short pause.

"I'll pray for her tonight," he would say to his wife patting the steering wheel once.
"Good thinkin'," his wife would answer, looking out the window at the passing lawns, "she could use it."