A Jew at Christmas

(Chorus)

What’s it like to be a Jew at Christmas?

What’s it like to be left out?

What’s it like to be a Jew at Christmas?

My guess is pretty darn annoying,

Hardly worth enjoying,

Tedious and cloying no doubt!

Your quiet little street’s now ostentatious

Gussied up with lights like Times Square

And garish blow up Santa’s and their reindeer

Are cheapening front lawns ever where  (even here!)

The shelves are stocked with more than you can fathom

More-crap than you could pos-si-bly-y need

It’s not so much the shoppers clogging up the check out lines

But Christmas music loud enough to make your ea-ears bleed

(Bridge)

The holiday season’s o-ver-wrought and vulgar  (vulgar)

And I can’t help but feeling like you do

I’m totally overwhelmed and the irony of it all

Is Ba-by Je-sus grows-up to be-come a Jew like you!

Oh!

(Repeat chorus)

I imagine it’s a pain to tell your children

And have to listen every time they grouse

They won’t be getting Christmas presents on the 25th

Nor will they be décor-ating a fir-tree in your house

Often times I wish that I could join you

And simplify by eating out Chinese

And wrap up only eight presents for Hanukah

This stress level is anathema to me

I’m super sorry on behalf of Santa

And well-meaning Christians everywhere

It’s not that we set out to commandeer your quiet lives

It’s more-like that-we real-ly do-n’t care

(Repeat chorus)