So Badly

The following is not a song about my ex. That would be too easy, too obvious, and frankly, he doesn't deserve to be enshrined in song and you, dear reader, deserve more. I will say, however, that my life has been long and a heart can be crushed in all manner of ways. So be mindful not to assume. Because when you assume, you make an assu out of me.

Hit it, Monty.



First I recognized its shape
the color, make and model
The first three letters cinched it and
my breathing slowed to shallow then I

peaked in all the cafes
I was mindful of my crusty, healing heart,
it’s depth and scope
This town’s too big for both of us

(Chorus)
I hoped you wouldn’t see me
and then I hoped you would
I hoped I wouldn’t see you
then I wanted to so bad, so badly

Hoped you wouldn’t see me
and then I hoped you would
I hoped I wouldn’t see you
'cause I want you still so bad

A block away I saw you
You looked good, were stepping lively
I slowed way down to watch you
then I willed you to please turn around

I hoped you’d fall in a sewer grate
of piranhas and hot lava then-I
scaled it back-to just piranhas
‘cause deep down I’m forgiving

You didn’t turn around cause you were
chatting with someone, she was a blonde

(Song stops)

Singer says to accompanist, “It’s always a blonde.”
He answers, “Pretty much, yeah.”

(Song resumes)

You smiled while you were talking
Your life is clearly perfect so I
hoped you would be eaten alive
by a boa constrictor

Then I dialed it back to just maimed
by a fire breathing wart hog
with rabies and bad dandruff
‘cause deep down I’m forgiving

I walked into the café
then spotted where you’d just been sitting
Your seat was still warm
You seemed so close but were so far

I ordered what you would have had
if we were still together
Then I changed my mind and thought fuck you
and ordered a BLT!

(Chorus)
I hoped you wouldn’t see me
and then I hoped you would
I hoped I wouldn’t see you
then I wanted to so bad, so badly

Hoped you wouldn’t see me
and then I hoped you would
I hoped I wouldn’t see you
'cause I want you still so bad

Hoped I wouldn’t see you
'cause I want you still so bad