Saturday, September 6, 2008

Bed Rest


Things I would do if quarantined and confined to my bed for a year :

Learn the ukulele.
Brush up on my French. (For what reason, I can't fathom.)
Learn Spanish.
Learn Chinese.
Learn Morse code.
Finish putting together eight years worth of photo albums.
Re-read all of the saved notes I passed, or was passed, from 6th until 11th grade.
Re-read all my old saved letters. (On actual paper, with envelopes and stamps.)
Read all the classics I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone that I never read.
Memorize all the correct words to The Star Spangled Banner, America the Beautiful, America (My Country Tis of Thee), This Land is Your Land and Yankee Doodle.
Memorize at least three verses of Silent Night, Deck the Halls and all of Frosty the Snowman.
Quilt something big.
Knit something wearable.
Make a crochet square blanket then give it away to someone I don't necessarily like, but who would certainly appreciate it.
Needlepoint a pillow commemorating the dates of and reason for my confinement with a pithy phrase quoted along the bottom.
Hook a rug.
Quill.
Recite the names of every guy I've ever gone out with starting in 3rd grade and classify into various colorful subsets.
Google every one I ever dated or had a crush on since high school.
Google all the geeks from high school. (I know, can you believe I haven't already done that? I'm saving it.)
Attempt to sing and catalogue every song I've ever known in my entire life, including all WPLJ radio sing-a-long faves, in chronological order.
Write a hit pop song.
Write a schmaltzy ballad.
Write my obituary.
Sleep. Alot.
Get depressed.
Think of all the clever and creative ways I might kill myself without getting out of bed.
Write upbeat letters to the editors of all my favorite magazines.
Write the great American novel.
Learn to play bridge.
Learn the rules of cricket.
Learn to identify the calls of all the birds indigenous to my back yard.
Take another nap.
Wake up feeling refreshed and a little less depressed.
Practice my ukulele.

1 comment:

bsglaser said...

I'd ditch the rest of the list and focus on the ukulele. It seems like once you've got a uke in your hands, lots of other things just fall into place...