Holiday Housewife

I will buy a trashy magazine and sit and read it while eating a Whopper at the mall when I should be shopping for Christmas gifts.
I will read that trashy magazine, cover to cover, including the letters to the editor, when I should be reading the New Yorker.
I will read the New Yorker when I should be reading a book.
I will read a book so as to not have to write.
I will write to get out of taking a shower.
I will shower rather than addressing Christmas cards.
I will address Christmas cards instead of folding laundry.
I will fold laundry to get out of decorating the tree.
I will decorate the tree in order to put off cooking dinner.
I will cook to not wrap gifts.
I will wrap gifts to not put away laundry.
I will put away laundry to not vacuum.
I will vacuum to not, wow, that's a hard one.
I just don't vacuum. That's all there is to it.

Happy Holidays!