All the Teds in the World

(sung in the style of an Irish pub drinking song)

There once was a boy, a little lost boy

This bo-oy grew into a man

He harbored the aching, then buried the quaking

Fell deeper inside of his mind.  He was clearly that kind.

He busied himse-elf, books lining the shelves

Doing work of the angels he simmered

In silence he lear-rned, while his body churned

Padding the depths of his room.  His bed a soft tomb.

(Chorus)

Alllllllllllllllll the Teds in the wooorrrrrrrld

The Johns, Joeys and Earls

Who can barely contain

Allllllllll_ the-Steves, Bills, Bobs and Daves

Who succeed in behave-ing

Hide their sweetness in pain, though their hearts they disdain,

They never complain

There once was a girl, a lost little girl

This girl never did learn compassion

She toyed with the boy, gave him glimpses of joy

Then left him to question his mind.  She was clearly unkind.

She grew very pretty, moved to the big city

Swept the lost boy’s love aside

Eschewed his amends, then collected boy friends

Delved into their bodies and looks.  She stopped reading books.

(Bridge)

Some Ricks, Sams and Dougs may speak volumes with shrugs

But their lips they rarely do pa-a-art

The Vincents and Simons whose insides are dyin’

Are cryin’ their eyes out with shame

With no one___ but themselves___ to blaaa_a-aaa_a-aame. 

One day she was older, the nights had grown colder

Her boyfriends had lost all their luster

Craving a bright mind, someone witty and kind,

She exhumed the lost boy from her past, knowing his love would last.

He answered his phone, to her he was still prone

She’d papered his thou-ghts for years

When he heard her voice, he knew his only choice

(Was to gi-ive her a second chance.  Then he hung up and danced.)

OR (Was to hang up and finally be done.  He smiled knowing he’d won.)

(Repeat Chorus)