An old college
friend from D.C. stopped over for the night on her way to N.Y.C. to drop off
her son at boarding school. But
this was no ordinary boarding school.
Her fifteen-year-old son, Noah, would be living in the Julliard campus’
dorms and studying at the School of the American Ballet (SAB) while taking his
academic classes at a Manhattan performing arts school. Though he was very calm and collected
on the outside, he assured us he was extremely nervous and excited on the
inside. I asked mother and son how it all began over nachos and burritos.
“At 9 years old
Noah played competitive concert piano, but he also loved to dance in the
basement,” Mom said, “and he loved sports, especially baseball. He was already
good at sports but I knew that if he was going to also be a good dancer he
would need a foundation in ballet training. So I bribed him with permission to
play ball after dinner if he took just one ballet class. He agreed. Then I
searched for an all boy ballet class taught by a man. It was much further away
but I finally found one. He went once and loved it.”
Noah started
dancing once a week, then twice. In 5th grade The Kennedy Center
used him when they needed young boys for their performances. “Basically, I
found out I was an attention junkie,” Noah said with a smirk, “but I was still
a huge Nationals baseball fan as well.” However, his school community wasn’t as
open minded about his dual passions. He was bullied, so the decision was to
home school in 6th through 8th grades. “He was
homeschooled so he wouldn’t be brainwashed out of doing what he loved,” said
his mother with a smirk looking reminiscent of her son’s. At 12 years old, Noah
was dancing 6 days a week, 2-6 hours a day at a top D.C. city ballet school and
commuting by himself while excelling in academics and still practicing
baseball. And keeping up with his classical piano. I thought how altered our
society would be if all the children who happen to know their passion at 12 could
attend specialized schools to hone, explore and master their desire.
Noah auditioned
for SAB’s summer school program when he turned 13 and was waitlisted. Feeling
stifled by leveling at his own ballet school, he nearly quit, but reluctantly
continued. I asked, “What do you think made you stand out?” It was a fair
question; SAB accepted only 25 new students for the school term this year after
holding worldwide auditions. Between bites he said, “I noticed I was bypassing
my peers in drive, desire and overall physical ability.” When I asked about
physical ability, he said simply, “I was born with straight knees.”
The following
summer Noah auditioned again for SAB’s summer program and was accepted.
(Feeling certain it was a long shot, his mother didn’t check the website’s
acceptance list until 48 hours before the confirmation deadline. She screamed
and woke the whole family at 1am when she saw his name.) “Let’s be serious,”
Noah said, “when you think of ballet you think of little girls in pink tutus.
It makes me mad because it’s so athletic and we work so hard. If people had any
idea… I challenge any soccer or football player to go through the training we
go through—the strength and balance, the sheer stamina—forget it. No contest.”
(He can do 8 pirouettes in a single launch. Try it sometime.)
I asked what he
thought would be different from his high school experience from that of a
typical public school student. Without hesitation he said, “Public schools hold
back kids, restrict them from discovering a passion that might not be what
everyone else is doing. When I get to SAB, I’ll be surrounded by people who are
as passionate as I am and I won’t be exposed to ignorance and scrutiny, which
will free me up to focus and study.” He spoke with maturity and eloquence but
his eyes also flashed with an intensity I hadn’t witnessed until now. We paid
the check and made our way down the street for dessert. He’d more than earned
an ice cream cone.
The next morning
we stood in line at the local bagel place to get breakfast sandwiches to go. I
recognized a neighbor eating with his daughter and brought my friends over to
introduce them. I quickly said to Noah, “I’m so proud of you, is it okay if I
tell him?” He hesitated then nodded imperceptibly, which I barely acknowledged before
blurting to my neighbor that Noah was headed off to SAB. My friend, a tall
athletic looking man wearing a t-shirt with a sports logo smiled wide and
reached out his hand to congratulate him. “That’s really cool,” he said,
“Congratulations, man, have a great time.” Noah, also wearing sports shorts
with a Nationals logo smiled tentatively and shook his hand. “Thanks,” he said
then they had a brief chat about the Nationals’ standing this year in the
league and made a few jokes about the Orioles.
I walked my
girlfriend and her son to their car. On the way Noah said to me, “You know,
when you started to tell that man about SAB I was really afraid of what he
would say. I never tell anyone at home, especially straight men, that I’m a
dancer. I couldn’t believe that he was so cool with it. I still can’t believe
it.” I told him that South Orange and Maplewood were not like other towns. I
said, “You can be a dancer or a writer, a musician or artist and folks support
you. A boy dancing ballet isn’t unusual here. Everyone would be psyched for
you.” We said our goodbyes and good lucks, hugged and they drove off.
Later his mother
left me a voice message telling me how transformative that moment had been for
her son. A straight man had told him that being a ballet dancer was cool and
wished him good luck with genuine warmth. She said, “He got in the car and
said, ‘I was so scared, Mom, but I realized I’m proud and it’s okay and I can
be who I am.’” She said it was good practice for him to be able to tell people.
I agree. 95% of the graduates of SAB are hired to dance for the New York City
Ballet, arguably the best ballet company in the world. I hope that by living in New York, Noah will grow comfortable enough to say, “I’m a ballet dancer,” far
beyond the reaches of Maplewood and South Orange, and be who he is—amazing.
Author's Note: For more information, check out “School of American Ballet – Boys Program” on YouTube.
